The Rising H@RDIE
..So much potential, so much alike and in the end so much talent too waste.
When I first started bringing players into the clan, all these young players coming and going I always thought at least one will rise to the end. I've had to edit this part of the story as I was wrong.
Naxonax was my main project the person I saw with the most potential I saw him shine through players like Diabolik and marxus he was the one I kept a close eye on I knew from the first moment he was to be a star but I was never going to let him feel that wayâŚ yet
He was supposed to be the closest thing to me. Maybe I tried to hard trying to make him see sense or maybe I was wrong maybe he was just never to be maybe he was never the person I thought he was.
I was going to change your life for the good nax but you just could not see it. I had a huge chapter ready to be written about you. But if im not worth your god damn so called precious time then youâre not worth mine now I have a fucking god damn magnificent clan to talk about and youâre not part of it and I canât see how you effected any decision I made in the clan so Iâll leave you out until possibly the end
The Day We Killed RFG Chapter 15
âImagine creating something that could kill an entire game within seconds, to make the point of playing a game feel so pointlessâ
Red Faction: Guerrilla Never died out of Skill, It didnât die out of noobs ruining the game, Red Faction:Guerilla Died out of FEAR.
Mikalhardie and LK_HellSpawn were the most feared INDIVIDUALS of RFG. No one would ever think we had anything in common and we didnât, well not really. But one day our heads got the better of ourselves. We thought of something that could make RFG crumble within seconds and oh my the imagination was terrifying
The day mikalhardie and LK_HellSpawn made the biggest most terrifying alliance of all time.
The funny thing is I never needed LK but he needed me. People always wondered how the hell we made a team together. The simple fact was he asked me. Yes one day I knew the pressure, the feeling that every morning he had to wake up to me shooting the crap out of him and he had to try and put on a show. Winning those days meant so much too us we went through extraordinary lengths to win the most ridiculous of matches.
He came to me his exact words were âOk mikal you need some decent players and I seriously need a guy who can kick-ass and sort the clan out because these players keep coming and going and it annoys me that your clan seems so stable whilst mine is always great but I canât get it under control I canât seem to get the clan to go forward, so Iâm asking for help unbelievably. Do not laugh please.â Lol I did laugh by the way. It felt like a victory, it felt like I had beaten him. But I had to stop laughing because then it hit me. The feeling that everyone on RFG could just say âOH FUCKâ and everyone on one game could just give a moments silence
the feeling that I could be invincible.
That was the day HellForce became a bigger name than RFG itself. But the battle of me and LK would still continue until one final standstill, But first some Team HellSpawn pawning.
The RFG Clear-out Chapter 16
When HellForce was born no one was safe I remember we had over 100 members. RFG was burning very fast.
Chupacabras= Torn apart they never accepted a custom but we caught them so many times in MM that they eventually gave up and fled like the cowards they were.
K.O.S= Gone without a Trace as soon as Hellforce was born they were no were too be seen. We got Fredster who was there only decent player but even he didnât know what happened to this clan he said they just disappeared.
It was actually quite scary how K.O.S just vanished without a trace apart from fredster whoâs just too retarded to know anything around him
Bloodline= half of them joined us. The rest quit. So much potential, so much hope. Crushed and im proud to say the true H@RDIE clan did this and not HellForce.
Other clans emerged from nowhere they were taking cared of within seconds. Leon had re-joined me and my clan for what would be the strongest force in RFG. Mikalhardie, LK_HellSpawn, Paokid, naxonax, ZZ00M_X, Leon, F-12 and many more the list went on. Every clan we destroyed a few followed.
I remember the Warriors. Flameproof and Gunwarrior. They took quite a hit but I liked there style I can tell flame learned from me and his mistakes at bloodline. They tried to withstand but they never won. They tried and failed. Both then left for red dead.
I started to realise that we were making people quit RFG every time we played a team they just gave up. HellForce was a very dark side and even though it may be known as H@RDIES at the moment it still is a very good side with a very dark mystery.
âThe fear of our clan is far Greater than our skillâ
HellForce was the greatest side who ever roamed the depths of Red Faction. Now only 2 clans stood between us and ultimate glory. Here came the most skilled games of our lifeâs, must remain focused, must stay in control, must not ever let them think we will lose.
..And then they fall Chapter 17
Gingers and Fish Fuckers led RFGâs last resistance they both made some sort of alliance. This was HellForce vs. Gamefanatic, wicked_spyder, squall, Shikari, buffalowing, Danggster, im_greatness_7 and nearly the entire of RFGâs so called proâs all of them top 16 on leader boards. We were supposed to be the underdogs. We then had many battles, and I mean many. But we only had 1 true clan battle 4vs4 only 1.
Leon5463 & Paokid are left in the clan too tell the story. But the other ones in the greatest 4vs4 team of all time were LK and me. You might think I doubt thatâs the best. Think about it. LK and Paokid one of the greatest double teams they knew each otherâs actions on and off the battlefield and me and leon. Well must I say anymore? When it came too double teams there was no better match than those 2. Now they were together. We were up against tough opposition there official team was Shikari, Danggster, buffalowing and im_greatness_7. Our first and only true 4vs4 and we all agreed this is it.
There was no turning back. It was a straight first too 2 wins. Everything I worked for coming down for a final showdown. The showdown I could only dream of getting too. Seriously when I inserted my RFG disc for the first time and played multiplayer I did not expect to get this far. At the start I only dreamed of being able to play with the best. But I was doing better than playing with them. I had a chance to play against them and I had a chance of winning. For once in my life I was succeeding and it felt good. But I was going to do my best to make sure thereâs a happy ending. Everyone deserves a happy ending even a guy as weird and as me. Although I never knew at the time that this was just the beginningâŚ none of us did
Ok first game crash site pistol and assault rifle no bullshit. First game we lost by 2 kills we let the pressure get too us me and leon just being our frustrated selfâs shouting and swearing at some fat Americanâs through the TV. LK and Paokid crying like girls.
I knew I had to control my anger and frustration or we were never going to win the other 3 in there team also had to face there strongest weakness. Mine was my anger, my frustration and my ability to act like a complete dickhead to my team mates because we were losing.
2nd game Downfall same rules. I donât remember much all I know it was Game Over for them. We got our headâs straight and they just never stood a single chance. I and LK just transformed into machines and everyone knew if me and him could perform well we could beat any team regardless of whoever else was in our team. Thatâs not too say that leon and Paokid did a bad job in fact I think it was leon who got the highest score in that 2nd match. I think he was our worst player in the 1st game he was -10 or something.
Have to say well done leon for once you didnât just completely give up out of anger and frustration for once you stood by and fought your weakness and we won but that was the day I think you really did show you had the potential to be as good as anyone.
And Paokid, well he was just Paokid. That kid never ever does anything special on the battlefield but he also NEVER puts in a horrible performance against the big teams, always performs when it matters.
The 3rd game well is it even worth mentioning in we had about 9 games after that as they kept trying to win a match on quarantine minus the buildings. Haha They just kept getting blown apart in the open it proves face to face there is no team better than us, absolutely none. Seriously Danggster looked a bit lost without his fucking house on crash site.
Who Am I Chapter 18
Youâre probably reading this and wandering why I actually have not spoken about myself yet. Who is mikalhardie? Up to this point I've been known as a psychopathic freak, or some sad loser with no life. Iâm known for my dangerous qualities of twisting minds and destroying clans throughout the virtual world.
Nobody really knows me. Sometimes I donât even know who I am all I can say is I am all an act. In truth there really is no mikalhardie I act differently depending on who Iâm talking too. I lie numerous amounts of times just for the slightest of changes into the clan
For example I lied about my brother dying in the war to get ZZ00M_X to re-join I lie a lot but I never ever lie for my own benefit everything I will lie about is for the benefit of the clan. Anything I told you that seems to have nothing to do with the clan is probably the truth.
Sometimes the truth can be found against me and then I admit my mistake of lying but whilst apologising I will lie over the apology of lying. Itâs a technique that always works
Im known for my quick fired answers that leave your brain puzzled for on how to reply. I ask questions that are sometimes unanswerable.
Well thatâs just me I like to know peopleâs strengths and weaknesses. I have my way of getting people to tell me things so personal that they really shouldnât tell me. Iâm extremely un-trust worth any secrets you have you really shouldnât tell me but Iâll get you too tell me anyway.
Because I can simply connect too anyone, everyone feels like telling me everything.
My appearance. Well after sending tonnes of pictures of random people to make use believes im just some cool kid I finally felt yeah ok time to show my real appearance. Yeah itâs the scariest thing about me.
Not the appearance itself but the fact youâre looking at me and youâre thinking what?
You all thought well heâs probably one of those leader types looking people heâs probably got one of those cool scars going down the eyebrow or something.
But not im just another fat kid with a chubby face right. Well im not your ordinary chubby kid am i? My smile probably the fakest smile youâll ever see. Iâm known in reality for a very scary elusive stare but I donât think you guys will ever see that. How could all these thoughts be going through a fat kids mind just how?
My humour well thatâs a side that I do like because that really is just me I like laughing at anything really. I like the straight down to earth dark humour and Germans.
So my personality is a cross-fire of silly laughs, lies, dark secrets and seeing things before other people see things.
âYou people really shouldnât trust me, but you just canât help but trustâ
Onto relationships. Friends well donât have but hoping to move too America or whatever. Scotland is very low on gamers everyone here is either in jail, on drugs or one of those crazy gothic gay camp people and thereâs me haha yeah I donât fit in Scotland I wouldnât mind someone to talk to other than myself but it works. I want to go travelling and visit everyone in the clan all the Germans all the people that I work hard for. Especially sweet because I would so tap that
And that brings us onto girls
Now I've probably told use all I've been in a couple of relationships ect and you all think yeah ok fat man whatever haha. Im just good with girls for obvious reasons it is never a love at first sight when these girls see me but I have my ways. My humour and mystery give them a sense of adventure and im very good listener and im never afraid to go straight in for the vagina. In truth girls are just fun for me I've never really felt love. I've never felt like someone could truly love me for who I am. Sometimes I think Iâm in love but I snap my brain out of it.
I hate Scotland I need to get out of here so fast. Every day I trap myself in my room I never leave these walls around me feel like there closing in closer day by day until one day I feel I must break them down and free myself.
Am I a smart kid? Now that is a very difficult question. I always look smarter than everyone else I always have that word or that weird structures in a sentence that make me seem so much better than anyone else.
Iâm a smart learner I know almost anything about life itself. Im smart itâs just everything I know is pretty pointless and unnecessary.
âI can see the world for what it really is and that makes me a very dangerous personâ
Speeches. Probably my most known aspect, how do I do? Well I use big words I use sentences used to send shock through your brains to get you motivated. My speeches are getting better and better almost becoming deadlyâŚ
I also have this ability to think so far out of the box, too deal with painful emotions within seconds, too feel no feeling apart from happiness
So im Michael Hardie im the kid who got unlucky, Iâm that nice kid who followed the rules the world had given us and was never rewarded, now Iâm going to change that, the thing that makes myself dangerous is the fact I donât know if this Is a rescue mission or vengeance. Maybe I will never know until all the pieces come together.
âYou Know When youâve Been KA-POWEDâ Chapter 19
After the final battle of Red Faction Guerrilla
After everything was won
After we single handily took over RFG
It was only a matter of time until someoneâs patience was too expire this is when Red Faction turned into a complete death zone no one came in and out without a complete pawnage by one of our 100 man army of supreme soldiers.
This is when the wait for RFA began and were still waiting, these entire epic battles all these magnificent moments. This was by far my toughest task yet keeping a clan together for almost a year.
LK was definitely not going to help the amount of times that kid just pissed me off was unreal, the amount of times he disobeyed my decisions and just talked over. This 50-50 leadership was not going too last.
I had to end. I knew LK was too strong for me just too tear apart mentally so I had to do it the hard way a straight 1vs1 for the leadership of the clan.
Iâm glad I was going to do this the entire clan was fed up of LKâs bullshit. Everyone who came across the clan either praised the fuck out of LK or said oh look itâs one of LKâs crew âfuck useâ and everyone was so frustrated especially me I did fucking everything I was the guy in the background making sure the clan doesnât fall apart out of anger at LK.
For most the time I was smart enough just to ignore and deal with the frustration of him over-ruling some of my decisions but he took one decision too far. I was a ticking bomb I could explode just any minute, you can only push a guy like me so far until I eventually will just say I've had enough and let out all the anger. Like the day I nearly killed that kid when I was younger it was time I stood up for myself and showed who truly is the King of the Virtual world.
It all started with LK deciding to replace Paokid with poffder as 2nd command and that really pissed me of I was so angry I think my exact words to LK were âPaokid is the only reason your still fucking here. Heâs the only reason I god damn agreed to create HellForce with you Paokid is goddamn twice the person youâll ever be and 100x the person poffder ever wasâ
I think LKâs excuse for replacing Paokid was because poffder has been in the clan longer but so fuck thatâs like me replacing Sulphury with falaa!!.
Ok I may treat Paokid like shit but he is the perfect example of what I want the world to be like. Ok maybe a bit more intelligent and less black but heâs a nice kid and LK treated him the way that the world treated me. Treated us like shit even though we did everything we possibly could. I was not letting Paokid go through the same shit I had to go through growing up (and yes I sort of just compared LK to god but yeah you see the comparison)
So the match was nearing we had a week to practise but LK being the over confident big headed prick that he was decided not to train that entire week until that day. I think the majority wanted me to win. The only person I remember wanting LK too win was a few of his individual friends and O-Skie
I remember 12 people spectated this match nearly everyoneâs comment boxes were MH-_-KA-POW vs. LK_HellSpawn.
So much hope, so much rivalry coming down to the most important day of H@RDIENESS ever. Ok you guys might not think it wasnât that important now but imagine if he had won. Imagine if I never existed. Where would we be? Would gaming ever feel the same? Everyone was worried that day
Some people were so nervous like nax and worried. this could be the end other people like leon were pumped up and ready taunting LK as we were too battle.
BUT NO ONE EVER ASKED HOW WE FELT.
And I will tell you I have never felt tension and nervousness as this and I doubt I ever will again all the training I had done was out the window my body would just not stop shaking
Oh the tension, the tension was just agony it was crushing and this was before the game had even started.
If anyone saw the game then you truly know the meaning of destruction. LK went 3-20 or something. He simply gave up he knew he could never really beat me in a 1vs1 or maybe it was the fact he saw sense and noticed that I wanted the clan more than him and that I deserved to lead the clan too true glory.
I even offered him the chance to stay but too not lead and everyone looked for his answer and he was just too stubborn too say yes. That was the death of what was supposed to be Red Faction Guerrillas best player. Mikalhardie had finally won. I frecking won Red Faction Guerrilla was my game I am the true master and I have these epic moments and battles in my head to remind me very day that no one will ever experience the journey I went too be the best
And you guys helped a lot and I thank all of you.
..Oh not to forget to mention I made Paokid 2nd command and he kicked poffder out the clan lol epic.
You Have to Beat the Best to Be the Best chapter 20
With LK gone it was up to me to pick up the pieces unfortunately this cast a huge dark shadow over me. Up to this point everyone in RFG respected me as that kid whoâs good at gaming but is not an asshole. I wasnât good I was the best LK got that respect of being the best by acting like the biggest dick head ever. I decided this clan was to become ours. By that I mean I want this clan to be liked by no one but ourselves. I was making sure I that everyone knew I was in charge and I was no longer some quiet fucking push-over.
Nearly everyone left from LKâs side of the clan apart from O-Skie who said âwhat you did too LK was unbelievable I always thought he was unbeatable. I now fight by your side.â I liked that in O-Skie heâs a general all round nice cool guy who will do things first time. Same goes for players like FDP, goobar ect these are the guys that bring the clan together.
They never seem like much but they are what I call soldiers they do all the dirty work without any complaints so seriously guys although I may never write an epic speech to keep you in the clan or play with use 24/7 I never forget the effort, loyalty and commitment you guys show. You are the people I made this clan for. People like Moofs who we can all see he probably had a shit life but he keeps smiling like the rest of us he gets on with it. He was never rewarded and thatâs what I intend to do. You guy really are what I call H@RDIES.
Days were turning too weeks, weeks were turning too months but us H@RDIES we stuck at it not giving up we badly needed a fresh player, a player worth talking about, a player worth bragging about.
In comes the saviour of the year Sulphury. Yes some says heâs big headed, some say heâs a complete dickhead but guess what, HEâs OUR COMPLETE BIG HEADED DICKHEAD!!! And I wouldnât have it any other day. Finally I found a gamer in our clan just somebody who whilst being having a no non-sense attitude is still not afraid to voice his opinion. I found a player that I didnât have to do anything with he was the full package. He shoots at the head YES oh my skill that is supposedly hard to master and he could do it with ease.
Did I like him at first Hell no mainly because he could beat me playing at his best but sadly these players who make me throw my controller out of the window are the players we need if you make me angry then you know youâre either really good or a fucking noob.
Donât know much about sulphuryâs personal life and donât really want to know were just business and customizable ostriches I like to keep it that way.
The thing is Sulphury could of joined a long time ago if he actually played good in the 2 matches that I saw of him lol both clan battles but he didnât even know he was in a clan battle. First one me and leon get our sup dupa boots on and raped him and flame in a Warrior vs. HellForce 2vs2 then about week before he joined the clan Shikari brought him in for a 2vs2 and Sulphury wall shot crazy yes Sulphury wall shot and still failed LOL
He was on my friends list for a long time im surprised we didnât delete each other maybe it was the fact I saw he never play COD thatâs usually the 1st sign of deletion usually if im looking too delete someone the big spamming call of duty which spams the whole thing under your name is just asking for deletion.
Some things in life are just simple and thatâs the perfect essence of Sulphury I just asked out of the blue to join the clan and he said yes and he was good and thatâs that. Sulphury I our ultimate weapon itâs a shame I havenât been able to unleash him on some proper opposition but his time will come im sure.
HAPPYdepression chapter 21
Arguments, mystery, Germans and supposedly lies. Some were and some were not
All started with an announcement. I told everyone I was giving up gaming for the time being as I will be beginning college and wanted to get a good education and succeed at life. That is true I was going to do this I still have this never give up attitude about life at this point I never really saw how far this clan could go I always forced myself to believe thereâs more to life than what it showed me so far. So I knew I had to give up gaming too succeed.
HAPPYdepression was a 2nd profile I've always had for a long time like most of my other profiles lol if that persons good at RFG thereâs like a 90% possibility that itâs me or me in disguise. I was never supposed to get involved with the clan using that profile that was a mistake I seem to make pretty often. But I got involved suspicion was high from the start with ZZ00M a german having a brain could tell it was me easily mainly because all Germans can see KA-POW through german super goggles or something else thatâs german.
The clan was arguing amongst themselves for weeks the clan was falling apart I was watching my creation sway side to side and I knew what I really wanted to life. Watching something you created to be so powerful almost crumble is hard to watch I couldnât let it happen it I knew I seriously could not turn my back on this im in way too deep.
From that day I havenât changed Iâm committing my life and educations too improve the clan in any way possible but first I had to come back and sort the clan out. I donât know why but nax and Paokid went on some âoh my mikal a psychopathic freak everyone run too LEON!!â Leon haha are you serious now I knew they were only running to him too piss me off so I knew getting them back would be piece of cake. Nax was never going to be the smarted of people no matter how many times I taught him and the less said about Paokid intelligence the better haha. I think sacred followed but sacred just german and also ZZ00M left and heâs german so I was left with Sulphury and flameproof and I still said bring it on oh but WAIT!! Shadow riders is a clan for fun people hahahah Muhahaha massive evil laugh seriously all I had to do was sit back and watch you guys come back into the clan. Yeah that entire paragraph makes me sound like a complete douche but im telling it from my view. So I screwed up with HAPPYdepression as I went through a phase of huge life decisions whilst use were just doing anything to annoy a Scotsman but thatâs ok im used to that.
You guys really disappointed me that week everything I had done for you guys everything I went through and I made one bad mistake and all of a sudden I am a psychopathic maniac and do you know what that name has stuck with me since that week you all think im some crazy fucked up kid. Think about the times I gave you all that 2nd chance or the 8th considering leon. I donât mind doing all this work when you guys donât think much about the clan but I do fucking mind when I get told im pathetic and crazy and treated like shit for only trying to help.
Anyway as expected naxonax got fed up and bored of leon and re-joined and Paokid and the Germans soon followed and since then the clan has been running smoothly almost not another story for me to tell here is there.. IS THERE!!!
The Sweet Execution chapter 22
My whole life I've studied the human reactions and philosophys. Technically I am not a smart person but when it comes to people and life decisions everyone seems to turn to me for advice I always seem to know the right thing to say I can see bad decision from universeâs away there was nothing I couldnât deal with in life.
And now the same was happening in the virtual world but this time I was in charge and that makes me very very dangerous. I thought I dealt with the toughest emotion of love through reality but now it was the only thing standing in the way of Virtual perfection.
Virtual Love such a sad story itâs the only relationship that truly only 2 people can feel whilst everyone else thinks it weird or stupid or there simply not bothered. No one can get in the way of virtual love not like in reality.
You all know what the chapters about its about Z-zSwEEtThAnGz-Z obviously but was I ever in love with her no I was not I was never in love it was a more of I wanted to be in love but I stopped myself from doing so..
1. Thereâs approximately a 95% chance that I will never meet her regardless of how we felt for each other.
2. Too much of a clash. By that I mean she doesnât look like the person she really is weâve all seen her or anyone reading this obviously has letâs be honest we would all have sexual intercourse with her(yes even the Germans.) She looks like she should never have owned a game in the first place. Sorry sweet but if you want my body you got to lower your standards youâre too good looking to be true haha.
3. Iâm too much of an asshole to consider a real relationship. I know I canât get a real girlfriend I just have these flings every now and then as I love the women body
But really im a sad loser I might never ever get a proper women but I donât care thereâs more to life than crying over the opposite sex
4. She wouldnât ever love me..
It was a very tough couple of months I was on medication at one point battling my demons telling me something I knew would only lead to chaos but then I learned love is not the strongest feeling of all time.. The strongest feeling of all time I death and thatâs how I feel about her at the moment I still talk to her but that spark I had the smile she put on my face when she came online is dead, no emotion. Nothing will destroy me... Nothing can as long as I donât let it.
December 13th was the day love saved me. I was coming back from the shops 9pm very dark a group of people were walking towards me I knew this meant trouble so I kept my head down and kept walking I got nearer and nearer until they got close enough to say something. One of them said âhey what time is itâ
I said â9pmâ
And he grabbed my arm and said âWHATâ in a rather nervous tone. So what did I do? Well I head butted him and started punching the hell out of him the guy was 20 something so I got what I could out of him and I think he knew he couldnât win the fight so he punched me once and ran off with his crew.
But lucky bastard that punch turned out to have broken my rib and that rib burst into and cut my lung. At the time I didnât know that it just felt soar but once I got home I started feeling dizzy. I was then rushed to hospital I was told The rib burst my lung and was told all that medical stuff that no one understands except the doctor himself so anyway I was then told had to get an operation he was going to perform surgery by opening the area that is wounded in my body and fix it he said itâs nothing to worry about but it may leave you a big scar.
So I went back home that day and was told to rest for tomorrow. âYeah were going to take apart your stomach tomorrow but donât worry nothing serious.â
LMAO oh yeah sure donât worry Iâll just lay back and take it fucking easy you tool.
I never told my parents how I hurt myself I just told them I fell itâs enough to make them believe, as if they even cared in the first place, as if anyone would really care. Does anyone here truly care what happens to meâŚ no not many although I may be remembered by most of youâs for the rest of your lifeâs you wonât ever have a feeling for me. I like it that way.
Or maybe some people like to pretend to care about me like sweet. That night she told me that she truly loved me. I knew she was lying but it was nice to know she might possibly have cared for me. I wanted to love her back I truly did but is this love?
Love is such a powerful word and so is words like hate you canât truly hate something unless it does something so bad. The same thing goes for love except people forget that or they donât believe in that and that leads to a broken down rushed relationship.
That night I think I fell in love and I mean who could blame me sheâs perfect for me. Sheâs hot and she plays video games could a guy like me ask for anymore. That night she was worried I was going to die or worse (can you get worse than death?)
I reassured her everything would be fine I told her I will make it through I promised her everything will be ok. Iâve never broken a promise... Mainly because this was the first promised I ever made
So the next day I went to the hospital, I lay down on the surgery bed and they put me too sleep. Everything was in the hands of the doctor for once I had no control.
Now I donât remember a thing about the operation all I can tell you is what the doctor said to me afterwards.
He made a mistake a big one he miss-judged the size of the wound and used the wrong size of equipment causing the wound to become larger I was losing a lot of blood and fast it all looked over for me. Obviously I lived well yeah sort off. I was technically dead for 7 seconds. But that is not the amazing thing the thing the doctor told me I screamed the name Emma just as I went into a death state. It must have been true I didnât mention Emma to him before the surgery. He told me you tend to think of the most important things and in your case say them when your body starts evaporating.
Maybe she didnât save me but to me she did she made me realise how important she could be too me. She could have been the one and only. That week I was in love with Emma Smith although I really fucking hate her 2nd name I was willing to do anything to change it too Hardie I was doing that thing people do in love I was thinking about future about life for once gaming and the clan were out of memory.
But it was killing me, it was killing me so much my mind spinning out of control the walls in my room were closing in I felt alone again I felt depressed all these bad emotions that I've trapped inside of me were coming out I was screaming out loud just wanting to get rid of every little bit of hatred I ever had I was letting it all go I knew I could never be with her I knew I will never be the popular guy I know I might be the most hated guy around but I am Michael Hardie and I simply donât care of anyoneâs opinion of me or anyoneâs feelings towards me good or bad because I have one goal in my head and I wonât stop, nothing will stop me until itâs done.
You can throw whatever you want at me I will just shrug it off so easily. Some things in life feel impossible to destroy, luckily for use im that thing. Now im virtually indestructible and even more so in reality, everything that happens Iâve seen it all before.
âNor love, nor hate, nor death shall destroy meâ
I now have now had no feelings for Emma although Iâd still bang the fuck out of her if given the chance but hey thatâs just me. Thatâs just Michael the kid who wonât feel any emotion unless itâs a good oneâŚ customizable ostriches for the win people
Virtual love...lol wtf was that all about?
When It should of ended Chapter 23
Im a dangerous kid, Very dangerous behind the charismatic smile and dark jokes hold a power stronger than anything youâve seen before, A mind so strong but sometimes too strong and sometimes can meltdown. Sometimes I see things that arenât even there I just imagine them and I can never get them out of my fucking head. Sometimes I scream in my sleep, sometimes I hold a knife in my hand and I tell myself âfucking do it Michael End it all.â Why im still alive I do not know. Maybe I guess I have something to live for. But what is it Michael câmon Michael who or what are you living for youâre the kid with all the answers now answer it Michael why are you here just why wonât you give up and let it all go. One day everything will be gone but why is that day not today why have I been allowed to live today. I ask that every time I wake up âWhy am I alive today?â
What is keeping me alive what is stopping me from going completely crazy. Sometimes I lay down on my dead and I feel like going on a crazy murderous rampage but just who the hell stops me. This pains this anger inside of me it never leaves its screaming in my head 24/7 I canât sleep because of it. I look at life I see nothing. These people who say hello trying to be so nice yet so fake. These people there all the same they wonât ever know what goes inside of my head. I also notice im not different to them âWe all put on our pretend smile; Maybe we are ALL crazy in the inside.â One of these days someoneâs going to push me just that little bit further than they should and the consequences will be devastating. What happens to the kid who has nothing to lose when he loses the last thing heâs got and that is control. If I've I ever lost control myself I canât even dare to think what would happen. I never had a friend, never had that guy to talk to just to let my mind be more free.
For sure I let you guys know everything about me. In truth I donât think im letting you know anything this whole forum is used as some sort of place for my mind to speak. Im all jokes and laughs on RFG but when I turn that game off you guys donât know what goes through my fucking mind. Do you know what itâs like to see the world for what it really is? Its hell IT IS FUCKING HELL!. And I so badly want to get out it fucking wonât leave its everywhere I go the lies, the cheats, the god damn greed and stupidity of the human nature. How do you people keep smiling are you really happy? Are you all really fucking happy with yourself. You are all nothing, your stupid. You need to be smart to see the world for what it is. âYou must be stupid to enjoy life.â Well done you stupid retarted fucks enjoy your life you dis-obeyed the rules you cheated and lied I hope you all have a fucking great time.
One of these days I almost lost it, I let my mind go out of control for 1 split second just that 1 split second. And I nearly ended it all. Well like half of these fucked up storyâs can go. There was this girlâŚ Different from the rest. Iâve been in 24 relationships and had sex over a 100 times or so I donât keep track. I never âlovedâ a girl. NeverâŚ its all just sex and talk. I donât get along with guys all my friends are girls apart from on the PlayStation 3. Girls like me and I like vagina and thatâs how it goes. I sometimes get close to girls were I get a slight connection in personalities but then bang I ruin the relationship because im gaming too much or im fucking there best friend behind there back or something but who cares? Maybe they do but since when did someone like me care. Im supposed to be the evil bad guy right? Isnât that my strength? One girl was different she looked at me different. She was an outright slag and at first I was like yeyy vagina. So I met up with her for the first time. And when I first saw herâŚ I was scared of her. She had that look in her eye that I see in myself every time I look in the mirror every single morning. She saw the same in me we had this awkward 10 second stare into each otherâs eyes until I put on my usual charming self so I said âhey you must be alyxâ (think its ok for me to mention her name) So anyway I kept talking I usually always start of with a huge enthusiastic speech when I meet a girl before I even hear her voice and I speak very fast when I do it. So as I was
âHey you must be alyx I like your name itâs a Y instead of an E thatâs like cool im cool with that I hope you can spell my name right Its Michael with an A after the H I hate it when people spell my name wrong so anyway gorgeous howâs your day been going, looks like youâve had a boring day well donât worry im here now and im an exciting guy you look exciting lets go and do exciting stuff like watching fat kids play football(always add a wtf joke in there) there like reallyâŚâ
She then just gave me that weird look and said âplease kiss meâ and I was like
<<that face lol
I donât what it was we had but she knew something, It felt like she knew everything about me. We had never met before in our lifeâs but this girl, I could just see it on her face that sheâs been through everything and yet still had nothing. She knew what it felt like to give everything you got and get absolutely nothing in return. She knew how I felt. I wonât ever forget the day she told me âThis nightmare, it wonât ever end Michael, but do what I do. Enjoy the nightmare.â Yeah I was like im the one who comes up with the bad-ass phrases what the fuck is this? Lol
I guess I can tell you a little bit about her. Even if she reads this I donât care she wouldnât care. She was small with big boobs, She is one of my towns biggest sluts. My college mates tormented me with jokes about her for a long time haha. She likes male company she feels protected that way. You guys might call her a slut but Im going to ask you guys if im any different? Nearly all my friends are the opposite sex likewise with her; I sleep around a lot likewise the same as what she does. We were both so identical in so many ways and thatâs why when we first met I felt she was different from all the others and I knew she felt the same. People might say we were in âloveâ but god damn I hate that word itâs fucking over-used and people only seem to be able to say it over the fucking internet. She was the first person I was able to say I âI love youâ face too fucking face.
She told me I was the first guy not to fuck her on the first date. And I told her youâre the first girl too admit there a slut to me (typical why the fuck did you say that it wasnât even funny Michael response.) So anyway I fucked her on the second date I felt like that was a fucking achievement. We also had sex when we broke into her high school at night and fucked in the head teacherâs office. Yeah craziest thing Iâve done. So I think I might stop talking about fucking your guys are probably getting a bit âjealousâ lol jokes.
So I dated her for a month and thatâs a damn record. Then she dumped me because she got assaulted which she lied about typical Im going to pretend to be single to fuck this guy who I never met. She isnât very good at keeping secrets. And trying to keep secrets from me is near impossible.
But when I first found out she was cheating on me and she thought for one second she could dump me and move on without me doing or suspecting anything oh how wrong could you of been alyx how much of an idiot you are. You lied to my face you gave me false hopes and you thought I was just going to be âAnother one of those guys.â Well im not just another guy im fucking god damn KA-POW and you donât fuck with my mind you donât ever try to torment it will kill everything. She took my mind too far she took it past the point where I couldnât care anymore.
I picked up a huge kitchen knife, I put on my hoody, I plugged my music on into my ears and at 2am I started walking towards her house. Itâs a long 2 hour walk, but I got there. I stood out her house and Roared her name. I did so for about 5 minutes then oh she arrived. Luckily she was the only one home. (She lives alone with her brother and little sisters, brother was probably partying and donât know about where her sister was.) She came out and said âwhat the fuck you are doingâ. I gave her the smirk and said lets go for a walk shall we, she got dressed and so we did. Of course it wasnât as easy as that but she did in the end suspecting nothing more than me to try to be romantic and win her over.
We went on our usual walk. We did this walk through the woods weâve done it a few times before and we have this âFavourite spot.â I bring her there, I then turned to her and I grabbed her and I looked at her for the very last time and then I saw it, Those eyes the ones so identical, she saw me bring out the knife and she didnât even panic she didnât even move, She stayed silent and she gave me that look I knew she would give. She couldnât care if I killed her, she had nothing all I needed to realise is she let me go because like me she didnât EVER want to have something to lose.
What I did next. I took that knife I grabbed her hand, I put that knife in her hand and I looked at her in the eye and I saidâŚjust please kill me. She didnât know what to do. But I wanted her to stick that fucking knife right through me so I could bleed so fucking badly. I want this nightmare to end so badly. You guys wonât ever understand what itâs like to be inside of my head. Im just one big pretending joke, Everything I do its just pretending I wonât ever know who I am. I just want someone to tell me Michael just chill the fuck out but I wonât ever that person. I donât have anyone to look up to im so fucking alone in this world. Everyone I see is so happy, why canât I be happy. I get women, im good at sports, im a fucking great gamer and im a smart guy why am I so fucking lonely. Iâve never ever had a friend. NEVER.
Obviously she never killed me; she threw the knife away and hugged me. Then I whispered in her ear âIm going to get you back for not killing me.â And so I did. I kicked the crap into her brother and fucked her sister. Simple as that donât need any details or long fucking story this story is long enough.
Im an asshole, I do things sometimes where I feel like I have no control over. Must never lose control and must never control others. Why am I so fucking different? I could watch a man burn to death and not feel a flicker of emotion, I could murder all of you and put on a sadistic smirk, I could watch the world end and tell myself fucking hell RFG isnât going to be too active now is it. I only ever care about myself. Its all just a game, and I always win
So here I am again searching for another girlfriend or fuck buddy I should just call them since I have no need to care for a womenâs feeling or needs. Sometime I feel like I need that someone to protect. To give me a reason to show my anger.
âŚmy main goal in life and whole point in this clan goes on. âTo find happiness.â Sometimes I just wish It would find me
THE END OF THE BEGINNING chapter 23
The H@RDIES a remarkable achievement. The thing I like most about us is how serious we actually take things. I remember when ZZ00M created our 1st website the whole clan acted like theyâve never seen a website before, our 1st banner people looked in glory and now look at us on YouTube all these things seem so small now but they were big movements at the time.
The clan was built around potential itâs the way I've built it. Some potentials fail some come through.
The thing is good or bad where all here now weâre all here for a reason and this story this is why Iâm here this why I do all these things that to some seem so pointless and tiring. âMike youâre fucking crazyâ they all say. You donât know the meaning of crazy in fact im the complete opposite as youâll notice im capable of stopping myself going on a murderous rampage and trust me oh I really do feel it at time I feel I need attention and that would just be the very easy option. I've never took the easy option and I never god damn will.
What I offer in this clan is opportunity, the feeling to be part of something, a 2nd home, a virtual school.
People come to me because of my wisdom and the feeling I can offer. People think im weird. Well maybe I am in your eyes but if youâve read this story you will realise I really am just different. Ok maybe I was born with this unique power to deal with emotions to analyse everything within seconds to always give the correct answer.
I've never been the most intelligent of people but I give the most answers, I hope this story brings hope too all around I hope this clan reaches remarkable heights and oh my this clan can believe me I have a business plan already made. You see clans are like a sport were teams the only difference is its not official. No one takes clans serious there mostly filled with fucking stupid kids but thereâs those select few that are magic.
People would watch clan battling I believe clan battling can be bigger than the world cup or the super bowl people would watch 2 clans battling ,people will get to know us people and will see the amazing story. Itâs all just dreams at the moment but I already have game companyâs keeping tabs on us.
They told me it would be impossible people wouldnât watch kid push buttons. And I simply said
âif you donât run fast enough you wonât win the Olympics, if you donât push your damn buttons faster than lightning then you will never be a H@RDIEâ
Were the biggest clan that has ever been made we can achieve something truly magnificent we can be the best of the best but this is going to take hard work.
This is of course the master version of the auto-biography and I've edited as I think this game deserves a true ending and oh we have one. Red Faction Armageddon will not have competitive multiplayer. And as I write this my clan Is working as hard as they can to save the only thing we have left and that is RFG. It wonât end and it never will. Will we succeed we donât know but like most things I do I will always find a way to succeed. You just canât beat me no matter how many times you god damn kick me down, Im a fucking monster that wonât give up until heâs won.
I've always said this nightmare wonât ever end. It wonât but this nightmare its changingâŚmaybe this nightmare could soon become the perfection of a dream.
And that dream that one goal...Is to be remembered forever
Writing this story has been a journey itself for me Iâm glad I did it but we all must remember thereâs a new beginning after this as this truly is the end of the beginning.
âThe boy who would forever win, as he never had anything loseâ-Michael Hardie
THE END OF THE BEGGINIG